3 Keys To Be More Effective Working With People

Recently I had the privilege of reconnecting with a friend whom I first met in grade school. She’s had quite a journey since we were last in touch, and now coaches high-level executives, CEOs, and other prominent figures in business, healthcare, politics, and the arts.

As we caught up on our lives and what each other has been doing, I had the chance to interview her a bit more about her work, and I was deeply impacted by both what she said, and what I felt as she said it.

Here are 3 of the lessons I learned from her that can assist us all in advancing our business and our lives as we interact with others:

Go For It

Get the “ask”

1) Life is short — so go for it. Get the “ask”. Whether it’s inviting someone to share a project or vision, to coach you or be coached by you, to partner with you, or simply to try something, my friend said she’s learned that “if I don’t ask, nothing is going to happen. I might as well swing for the fences; at worst I may eventually have to pick up the bat.”

Be intentional

2) I noticed that she is very intentional. In her case, prayerfully so. She prays before contacting someone, and when she notices someone who’s work or contribution she appreciates, she’s very intentional about reaching out to them, letting them know how much she appreciates their work, and then taking that additional step to say “I would love to coach you.”

Sound a bit forward?

What was intriguing was her genuine appreciation for people and her genuine confidence that she could add value.

And rather than worrying what they’d think, or being caught up in conflicting feelings about wanting something from someone or trying to get someone to do something, she was completely focused on her appreciation for them and her desire — and competence — to serve and contribute value to them and their work.

How could this be applied even if you’re not a coach?

Perhaps you have something that could teach people how to do something better, or a product you market that could improve their lives.

Yet you, like most of us at one point or another, may still feel a little awkward because if they chose your program or your solution, you would be receiving something in return.

What if you could become so comfortable, so confident, and so appreciative like my friend that you had no problem letting people know you had something that could serve them, and that you would love to connect them, open a possibility for them, or serve them with what you had to offer?

Now before you say, “I’m just not like that” — my friend wasn’t that way initially, either.

She learned.

She grew.

She cultivated her mindset and her skills, and I’m glad she shared
them so openly with me the other day.

My clients can tell I love them

3) Here’s the final point — it builds on the other two. My friend said, “My clients can tell I love them.”

She has a genuine desire to see these high-profile people — people that many of us might feel intimidated by — have the support they need to function and serve at their best, and her genuine love for people comes across, especially since it’s not “muddled” by her worrying about what they might think.

So there you have it.

Three powerful insights I both learned and felt in talking with my friend about her work.

Chew on these a bit, and ask yourself, how can you apply them to your own life and work with people?

Can people feel your confidence, your appreciation for them, and your genuine desire to serve them?

Let me know any questions or insights this triggers in you — I’d love to hear your comments and feedback below!

Here’s to creating a life you love!


A Powerful Practice to Begin & End Your Day

Just posted this quick video tip on a practice that’s been a powerful way for me to begin and end the day, and wanted to share it with you – let me know your own tips & experiences in the comments below. Enjoy!

Dr. Ben

What Areas Are You Sowing In Today?

In the midst of coaching members of my business team this past
week and a half, two factors have repeatedly come to the surface
that are key to creating new and desirable results in our lives.
As I’ve percolated on these keys and just finished enjoying some
raisins with my 21 month old daughter, I had the inspiration to
write them for you here:

1) Decide what you want

2) Sow in the areas that are important to you with intention
every day.

Maybe it’s a relationship with God, your family, or someone else in

The image that comes to mind is of colorful jars or containers –
and each day you get to choose which ones you open and give some
attention – which ones you sow into each day.

If we’re not intentional, then what’s most urgent and demanding, or
what’s most familiar based on past patterns and habits, can get all
of our time and attention.

But if we realize we want to sow something different today, we can
specifically set aside time to sow into the areas we’re choosing
intentionally today.

It might be a 10 minute walk to commune with God or nature or simply
get some mental space and clarity.

It may be reading a story to our kids, or taking a break and having
a conversation with someone that’s important to us.

And it may be taking a new step in your business or professional
pursuits that’s a bit challenging, even a bit scary, but also
exciting and potentially very rewarding.

Take a chance.

Take a step.

Be deliberate.

And choose what “jars” you’re sowing into today.

To your freedom, prosperity, and joy!

Dr. Ben

P.S. I think I’ll take a quick walk up the hill and then enjoy some
lunch with my family 🙂

3 Quick Practices to Build Intention & Clarity

As a followup to the power of 10 min’s a day, I wanted to share
three ideas you can use right away to increase your clarity,
intention, and progress in life, health, & business on a daily

1)  Take 10 min’s to create “mental space” free of the activities
of the day – ideally before your day begins. You can use this
time as “quiet time”, prayer, meditation…simply give yourself…

…and your mind in particular…

some “space” before you “descend” into your day.

You may be surprised at the ideas, energy, and clarity that come
to you when you give yourself this “space.”

2)  Throughout the day, “check in” with yourself to ask,

“What’s most important to me about this next segment of my day?”

If you’re already engaged on a project without distractions or
“forks in the road”, you may find yourself doing this less often.

But if you’ve got lots of people and/or matters calling for your
attention throughout the day, taking a moment to “check in” and
be sure you’re on track and intentional about what’s getting your
time and attention will be a powerful practice.

3)  Get a spiral bound notebook/pad that you can easily jot ideas
in that come to you…and in particular, take a few moments –
perhaps at the end of the day – to write what’s most important to

It may be something you learned or appreciate from the day, a
“highlight” of your day…an intention for the next day, something
you intend to change, or an overall realization of what you love,
what’s important to you, and where you’re going to focus more of
your time and energy going forward.

There you go – 3 simple but powerful exercises you can implement
right away.

Already doing one or more?  Would love to hear your experiences.

Ready to put one or all three into practice now? State your
intentions in the comments below, then come back in a week and
share your experience.

Here’s to living intentionally and experiencing the clarity, focus,
and fulfillment that can be yours!

Dr. Ben