Is Your “Identity” Holding You Back?

IDENTITY One of the things I often encounter when interviewing someone who wants to create income in a new arena (such as network marketing), is a fear of moving beyond their current identity and status. This fear, or dilemma if you will, is one that anyone can encounter who’s being called beyond where they are now, especially if they’ve spent years developing skills, a reputation, and achievement in a certain arena, or even if they’ve simply gotten comfortable with what’s already familiar and what they already know how to do.

So today regardless of your background – whether you’re an at-home mom or dad; a student, a teacher, or an employee; an author speaker, or coach; an athlete or artist; or a business owner or professional; or something else – here’s my question for you:

Are you being called – do you have a desire – to create and contribute beyond the current professional or personal identity and role that you’re in?

And if so, do you have the courage to step beyond where you are now?

Whether or not it actually manifests as you doing something different,PURPOSE there is a new level of freedom when you’re no longer attached to being seen, appreciated, or needed in a certain way. (Or conversely, no longer limiting yourself with such statements as “I’m just a…” or “I’m not…” These are statements of identity that unconsciously put a lid on how you see yourself, who you could become, and what you could do.)

I remember when being a home-birthing doctor gave me a special relationship within my particular church community – drawing to me relationships, respect, and people seeking advice – and it was a very rich and fulfilling experience. I even remember the wonderful feeling of being appreciated as the “hero” at some difficult births.

Yet there came a point when to expand our practice and serve more people, we began stepping into a partnership with midwives, moving more into a supportive role rather than being the “primary practitioner” at a birth.

At first I felt like something was missing, but I eventually reached an internal place where serving the outcome – a wonderful birth experience for the couple and family – and serving people – was more important than my actual role and recognition in the process.

That became an incredibly freeing transition, and opened up new doors of exploration, creativity, and contribution in life that have eventually led to where I am today.

Some may wonder – what about their degree and years of schooling, or what they’ve invested in their current career or role – and what I’ve discovered for myself is that rather than that being “wasted” or tossed aside – that’s all part of the “ingredient mix” that have gone into who I am today, and that I bring to the table with every interaction in life and business.

Much like a mom or dad who may walk away from years of schooling or professional achievement to be at home for a time, or someone who may choose to go to the mission field or develop another part of themselves and the gifts they can bring to the world – nothing’s ever wasted…it’s all still part of who you are…you’re just no longer letting any of what you’ve already done or achieved define or limit who you are and what you can do.

Two examples of professionals –- who also happen to be a mom, and a dad — that have continued to create beyond the identity and roles they had previously, are Dr. Valencia Ray, a fellow MD and ophthalmologist (“eye doctor”) — who now shows women and professionals how to see beyond their “blind spots”; and Tanveer Naseer, who has a rich technical, business, artistic, and leadership background that he integrates into the coaching and writing he brings forward today.

Another key example is Dr. Fern Kazlow, a holistic practitioner and business coach –- and also a home-schooling mom — who continues to bring forward her gifts in wider and wider arenas.

“Forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to what is before…” (Philippians 3:13) — though given with a deeply spiritual context, this quote conveys a principle that has broad application to all areas of our human experience.

And realize, I’m not necessarily talking about doing something different than you’re doing now, but rather coming from a different place – a place of freedom from attachment to being seen in a certain role or identity – that may open up fresh perspective and possibilities — either within your current work and relationships — or it may indeed lead to new outward forms as well, just as it did for me.

POSSIBILITY

So in closing, let me ask you again – is your identity holding you back, or is it something malleable that you can use as a springboard to greater and greater levels of exploration, development, and contribution?

If you’re willing to create beyond your current identity and step into the exciting “unknown,” it could become a deeply fulfilling – and freeing – journey.

So here’s to the freedom and exhilaration of creating beyond where you are now, and how you see yourself today.

Enjoy the journey!

Dr. Ben

P.S. Are you currently in transition or looking to expand your income or your impact beyond what you’re doing now?
Explore further at Work with Dr. Ben.

 

Why I chose Network Marketing

Have you ever questioned what you’re doing, or wondered what
you “should” be doing to make a living and make a difference?

The other day I was listening to one of the founders of the
company I’m partnered with talking about how when he grew up,
people would say, “Do what you love.”

Probably something you’ve heard before and thought about, too,
just like me. 

He said that phrase was confusing for him, though, because he
loved to play basketball and he loved to ski, but he wasn’t
sure how he could make money doing those things.

It was later on in life that he discovered that the key for
him was to find something to do that was in alignment with his
values
.  From there he could derive passion and purpose.

So as I reflect on my journey into network marketing – from
electrical engineering to medicine, and now to developing an
international business team from the comfort of our home in a
resort town in Michigan, I remember a vivid & key moment for
me about eight years ago.  I was standing in our first home at
the edge of our small kitchen facing the end of our living-room
couch, and found myself asking God to enlarge my heart for people.

I don’t remember what pre-ceded that moment, but I distinctly remember that moment.  Perhaps you’ve had moments like that which still stick in your memory today.

It was shortly after that that I was introduced to the business team that would transform both mine and my family’s life. 

And as I’m sitting here on the roof of Joe’s overlooking the harbor (that’s where I was when I recorded a quick message to myself with these tho’ts), one of the things that stands out to me is the answer to this question:

What are the values that have brought me here to network marketing?

And I realize that the core value that’s brought me here is the desire, and the purpose, and the passion to empower people.

That’s one of the things I love about network marketing – much like what was at the heart of what I did as a physician – the opportunity to work with people to improve their lives.

What drove me here was a desire for freedom and flexibility to be with my family, and what’s kept me here is the opportunity to work with people to change their lives – people whom I might otherwise never have known.

Oh, and my wife’s leaning over to say in my ear, “I love our life” as I’m listening to the soundtrack of Prince Caspian and typing this doesn’t hurt either…as well as the whole world of learning and growth that has opened up to us and our children through the doorway of entrepreneurship.

But it wasn’t always this way – there’s definitely been a journey and a process…and having a core vision and values – even ones that have developed, been tested, and become more clear along the way have been key.

So here’s a question for you – what are your core values?

What’s important to you?

And how can you connect what you’re doing daily to what’s important to you?

Look forward to hearing your own thoughts in the comments below, and in the meantime, here’s a video shared with me by my 13yo daughter – and choreographed by a very gifted young choreopgrapher in the Chicago area. Both the song and the dance communicate a simple yet radiant joy and spirit that I think you’ll appreciate as well. 

Enjoy!

Dr. Ben

The Call