Dr. Ben – Page 3 – Creating A Life You Love

What’s your Kryptonite? (Guest post from Rachelle)

So we all know the story of Superman and how kryptonite made him ineffective. His experience gives an intriguing perspective on our own.

We all wrestle with things that take us out from reaching our potential, or thriving in our relationships.

One of the benefits of being in free enterprise with Ben for over a decade now is that I have learned much about myself. I know more about what my fears are. I know that sometimes I will get stuck and depressed. I know what makes me ineffective.

Here is a very recent story: I struggled for several months about where I should focus my efforts, and I felt overwhelmed by the “daily feeding” and what felt like a burden of supporting our kids’ schooling and needs. It really took me out.

Thankfully, I made a little trip to Michigan and got recharged by girlfriends and remembered what abundance and support felt like. It was a sweet tipping point. Once home, I got into a groove with my food and the ideas for writing and marketing came flooding in. I was also excited to add my enthusiasm to Ben’s efforts.

And then, I got back on Facebook; my sweet Kryptonite.

On our Mac I seemed to be able to handle it: I focused on our international team and sending out value on my Biz pages. But once I put it on my phone, my brain flow and imagination disappeared. I kept checking the notifications and, embarrassingly found myself reacting internally to political stances. I got so distracted, I quit exercising and writing. It seemed like I lost weeks of momentum in only a day. I lost this “Super Entrepreneur in self-mastery, creating ideas in the sauna, powerful woman”.

The difference this time around is that I have a new sense of kindness to myself. I have a knowledge that even though I am stuck or feel like a failure, I can change. I can find my sweet spot and vision again. It helps to choose that All is Well in this moment. It also helps to eventually laugh and celebrate that you have more material for writing, and for coaching others.

Whatever your Kryptonite, you can get to a better place. You can keep making your vision a reality. It isn’t just starting over, but rather keeping on with new clarity and strength.

It is so worth it.

Rachelle Lo is a “mom-preneur” running a household of 7 kids plus Ben 🙂 She loves English breakfast tea, her dutch bike, and sharing food ideas with friends, and now writes as a columnist for the New Buffalo Times. Connect with her on Facebook at Rachelle Lo

Is Your Glass Half Full, Half Empty, or…?

So we’re all familiar with the glass half full/half empty idea. Recently while on a team video conference, though, I discovered a whole new perspective when an astute partner piped in with a third option that surprised me.

Now we’ve all probably viewed our “glass” from both perspectives. Whether we’re looking at ourselves, our abilities, our relationships, our finances, or some other aspect of our circumstances, we’ve probably had moments where we’ve seen what’s there – the “half full” part – and others where we’ve bemoaned what isn’t there – the “half empty” part.

So we’re all capable of either perspective in different situations and depending on how we’re feeling at the moment.

Wouldn’t you agree?

Some of us may have practiced cultivating the habit of seeing the glass half full, and even admonishing others, particularly our kids, to do so. 🙂

But here’s what – for me – was an entirely new perspective shared by the partner I mentioned above:

*The glass is refillable.*

Wow. Who would have thought?

Rather than bemoaning or settling for just what’s there now – even if we’re seeing the “half full” part – let’s remember that our glass is refillable.

Today’s a new day.

Whether it’s learning a new skill, growing our network or income, developing a new relationship – what’s in our glass isn’t static – it’s refillable.

How does that feel?

How does this impact your approach to your day, your week, your month?

Would love to hear your own response in the comments below.

Your glass is refillable.

Enjoy!

Embracing The Power of Uncertainty

I was just listening to an interview of Iyanla Vanzant by Jerry Clark while dropping our son at basketball practice, and had the impulse to write a post on the Power of Uncertainty.

Iyanla and Jerry were talking about how we’re all control freaks – we like to know how everything’s going to turn out before we do anything — and I realized that if we hold to this desire for control too tightly, we’ll never allow ourselves to create or experience anything new.

How’s this apply to business and life?

Imagine I had demanded that I knew how things would turn out with Rachelle before I dated her – we never would have been here today with 7 kids and 23 years of marriage, challenges, and rewarding adventures!

Or in business – if I had demanded that I knew whether a customer or potential business partner was going to say “yes” before I spoke with them – I never would have allowed the amazing relationships, discoveries, skill development, and business results that have unfolded in our lives.

And we’re still discovering and experiencing new things – in fact, that’s what makes life interesting.

Now I realize that a total feeling of not being in control could be frightening – so here are three things I’ve found particularly helpful in allowing and even embracing this power of uncertainty in my business and life that I believe will assist you, too:

1. Courage to embrace – regardless of your belief in a Higher Power or the Universe being for you, having the courage to embrace the uncertainty and adventure of life makes things a lot more interesting. Iyanla spoke with Jerry about the difference between “choice” and “decision” – decision weighs facts and figures and is based on what you can see and know. Choice opens the door to possibility, even though you may not know what all those possibilities are or don’t know how everything’s going to turn out. Choosing to embrace the uncertainty, challenges, and possibilities of life is one of those choices, and is a powerful strategy for allowing more into your life.

2. Trust – for those of us who do believe in God, a Higher Power, or even simply that the Universe is working for our good – trusting this power and process even though we can’t always see how things will work out ourselves is a key process that can open us to the uncertainty – and the possibilities – of life that we otherwise may shy away from, and allows us to go forward without fear.

3. Others’ stories – the third factor I’ve found richly empowering that essentially makes it easier to practice #1 and #2 above is to listen to, read, and continually enjoy the stories of others who’ve experienced the richness and worthwhileness of embracing uncertainty and stepping into possibility in their own lives. In essence, you can build up an “internal library” of these stories that becomes a well from which to draw as you navigate your own moments of challenge, uncertainty, and new doors of possibility opening before you.

Now think back on your own life for a moment. What’s one of the most rewarding experiences you’ve had? I bet at some point along the way, there was a door of possibility you were willing to walk through, without fully knowing or being “in control” of what was on the other side.

Have one of these examples you’re willing to share? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

May we all continue to have the courage and trust to embrace the uncertainties — and the possibilities — before us in the years ahead.

Here’s to creating a life you love!

Ben

P.S. Want daily tips to energize and equip you in business and in life? Catch live “Quantum Moments” with me on my Facebook page Mon – Saturday mornings at 9am Eastern time. See you there!

An Antidote For Regret So You Can Be Present Now

Was out with a couple of our boys earlier today and created this “Quantum Moment” on a quick “antidote” for regret – a simple yet powerful practice that can allow you to let go of the past so it no longer robs you and those around you of the present.

In the following 2 minutes I give quick examples of how you can apply this in business and in life. Enjoy, and feel free to share your own insights, experiences, or questions in the comments below!

P.S. For daily “Quantum Moments” like this you can catch me “live” Monday – Saturday mornings at 9am Eastern Time on my Facebook page.

Are Protein Shakes Good For You?

Ever wondered whether protein shakes were “good” for you? I imagine we’ve all tried them at one time or another.

In today’s video, my wife Rachelle gives what you might find is a slightly “different” way of looking at the answer, and she shares a bit more of what we do daily. Enjoy!

How To Quickly Get “Unstuck”

Ever feel stuck or a sense of regret over past choices? Here’s a quick video message for moving forward. Enjoy!

5 Quick Tips for Increasing Energy and Focus Throughout Your Day

Had a friend recently ask me for tips to improve focus, and here are five I sent her via Facebook messenger:

5 Quick Tips for Increasing Energy and Focus Throughout Your Day

1) Keep your blood sugar “balanced” — in other words, eat consistently, especially protein and veggies while avoiding the ups and downs of sugar and processed food (or too much caffeine, especially later in the day)

2) Get your rest. So much brain and body renewal occurs with our daily cycle of sleep, yet it’s one of the first things we skimp on when we’re “busy”. Try turning off your “screens” and “unwinding” a bit before bed, and even shifting your “stop time” earlier — I read once that the Taoists say every hour of sleep before midnight is worth two after midnight! (The Tao of Abundance by Laurence G. Boldt)

3) Stay hydrated — pure water is best (try adding a slice of lemon, lime, grapefruit, cucumber, or a mint or bay leaf for variety)

4) Time block — block off shorter segments in your day to totally focus on a specific project, task, or intention. Then re-assess at the end of that block to set your intention for the next “segment” of your day.

5) Pattern interrupt — avoid zoning out on email, facebook, internet searches, etc. Periodically step away from the computer/phone — stand up, get a drink of water, go for a short walk — or even a bike ride — to re-energize, refresh, and re-focus. You’ll find yourself more “on purpose” and more productive than if you never took the break.

There you go! Which one can you act on today? In the next hour?

What’s one of your favorite tips for increasing energy and focus throughout your day? Feel free to share in the comments below!

Dr. Ben

P.S. Want a free 7-day guide by email for feeling your best in just minutes a day? Get yours here.

This Stress Solution Leads to Better Focus, Sleep, & Energy

Ever feel stressed? Trouble focusing, trouble sleeping, or lack of energy?

Here’s a natural solution that’s made a big difference for me and for many others — you’ll feel better, and it’s good for you, too!

Watch the video below to learn more, then you can try it for yourself here. Enjoy!

Ready to try this natural stress relief yourself? You can do so here: natural stress solution.

Redefining Failure to Tap Into the “Juice” of Life

For all of you in network marketing, running your own business, or engaged in any kind of entrepreneurial or creative endeavor, here are a couple key thoughts on “redefining failure” that can totally change your experience — and your effectiveness — just as they’ve done for me.

Enjoy, and if this impacts you in some way, feel free to share your own experiences, perspectives, and insights in the comments below. I look forward to hearing from you!

Three Keys To Success in Business & In Life

In the last post we covered three keys I learned while re-connecting with a childhood classmate who now coaches leaders in business, healthcare, the arts, and more.

Those first 3 keys highlight ways to be more effective working with people.

These next 3 are key to further success in business and in life.

So let’s dive in — three more keys I learned while talking with my friend for greater success:

An Overarching Vision

1) Behind her actions and her success, I discovered my friend has an overarching belief and vision that fuels her passion to coach and contribute to the lives and work of influential leaders in business and in the world.

Her vision is that if there are more leaders doing good in the world, then there will be more peace.

What’s yours?

How can you cultivate an overarching vision and belief that fuels your work or business, so that your day-to-day tasks, goals, and activities are connected to something larger that fuels and inspires you?

Positive Expectation

2) How many times have you found yourself hesitant to do something because it was new, unfamiliar, or beyond your comfort zone? Or perhaps you did it — you called that person, made that “ask” — but even as you did it, you expected to be turned down?

What I noticed in my friend is that she has cultivated a sense of positive expectation. Even if it takes months or years to engage someone as a client, she’s already determined that it is worth it to pursue a relationship with someone who stands out to her, and she is patient enough to let the relationship unfold over time if needed without letting initial disinterest affect her own sense of confidence, mission, and purpose.

Two of the best ways I’ve found to cultivate this sense of positive expectation are:

a) practice
b) internalizing the mindset and stories of people like my friend, so you have a broader perspective
and internal “database” to draw from than just what you’ve personally experienced so far.

A sense of ease

3) The final thing I noticed in my friend is her sense of ease. And this sense comes across not just as a personality trait, but with a deeper basis in a sense of trust, of confidence, of loving people as they are and knowing she’s loved by God.

With this deeper foundation, I sensed in speaking with her that she is enjoying her clients, her life, and even the process of discovering new people and cultivating new relationships with both confidence and ease.

How can you cultivate this sense of ease in your own life and work?

It comes from not being wholly dependent on how others see and react to you, or on your current circumstances, but rather having that deeper sense of loving people, loving life, and knowing you are loved.

In a sense, it means becoming “unconditional.”

This takes time and daily practice, too.

So there you have it — 3 more keys to cultivate:

1) An overarching vision
2) Positive expectation
3) A sense of ease based on loving people and knowing you are loved

Quick action step:

Write these three keys on a 3×5 card, post-it note, or with a dry-erase marker on your mirror, and practice reminding yourself and “laying the tracks” for these three keys in yourself this week.

Comments, questions? Have your own key to share?

Feel free to post below!

Here’s to your ongoing journey of creating a life you love!

Ben